The secret to making friends
I was just reading about this really interesting experiment that took place recently.
This psychologist, Arthur Aron, runs labs to increase a sense of intimacy between people. Pairs of volunteers chat to each other, guided carefully by questions from a list, for 45 minutes. By the end of the session most of the pairs feel incredibly close and some even end up falling in love! He did the experiment over a decade ago for the first time, and one of the couples are still married!
This is fascinating to me, as a magician, because we use various ways to make you feel like you know and trust us (and make you feel like we're interested in you, not that we're not of course...) It makes the effects more powerful and unexpected, and if you think we're bad, you should meet some hypnotists.
Check out some of the questions, I've pasted them below. The questions escalate in intimacy – there's a sort of design to it. What do you think? Could this be the 'speed dating' technique to find your future soulmate? You could even try exchanging answers to these with someone, see how you feel about each other afterwards!
- Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
- What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
- Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Towards the end, the questions get more serious:
- What is your most terrible memory?
- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?